Monday, March 23, 2015


Its become obvious to me over the past few months that I really can only count on myself.  It sounds sad, sure, but its the truth.  For me, asking for help is never fun.  I like to think that I can handle everything that life throws at me but sometimes I need people to step in and lend me a hand.

Let me give you an example or two: Just before Christmas, the kids got sick.  All 4 of them.  It was a Wednesday I believe and just after bedtime Elliott started throwing up.  Then Ollie. Then Char. And then Evy.  It was right around 12 hours of children puking, giving baths, changing clothes, sheets, etc.  Are you imagining the worst? Yeah, it was that.  And then came the diarrhea.  Lots of it.  Diapers filled to the brims with nasty icky poo.  All 4 of them.  I even put the girls in diapers because I wasn't sure they would be able to make it to the toilet every time.  So lets go to Friday. Its about 5 pm and guess who was next? You guessed it.  Me.  I had exactly what they did over a 48 hour period except for all at the same time.  I was so sick that I had the worst stomach pain imaginable.  I couldn't sit, stand, do anything without hurting.  I couldn't stop throwing up.  I couldn't keep down water, gatorade, nothing.  I ended up calling a nurse hotline and the nice nurse on the phone asked me a bunch of questions..... turns out, I was severely dehydrated and had to go to the ER.  So who was going to take me? I was way too sick to take myself and Brian had to stay with the kids.  It was about 10:30 at night and I called my neighbor K.  I asked if she could take me to the ER (10 min away) and she said, "No, I'm in bed already." I said, "Really!?" and she replied, "Yes, really. I'm sorry. I'm in bed already."

I think i was a bit shocked that she said no.  It wasn't like it was 1 am or something.  I called my other neighbor and he said he'd be right over.  He didn't ask questions.  Just said yes.  AND he even picked me back up at 4am or whatever crazy time it is.

Here's another one for you.... I posted a picture on my FB account asking if anyone could help me organize/hang/tag some clothes for a kids consignment sale.  One friend said yes and that she could come that same day.  Sweet!! ( I thought!)  She messaged me a few minutes later asking what I was doing that evening thinking that's when she was going to come.  Nope.  She wanted me to watch her older 2 so she could go to an appointment.  Total bait & switch.

Do you see the trend here? Me too.  I'm not sure if it was the way I was brought up or what, but helping people is a nice thing to do.  I don't always have time, but if someone asks for something and I can do it, then I do.

Overall, I'm just feeling bitter about this whole thing.  Are people so consumed with their own lives that they can't help someone out?  Am I silly for thinking that people WANT to help just out of the kindness of their hearts? We don't have any family nearby, and I know that if they lived closer they would help us with things in a heartbeat.

So from now on, when people ask me for something, I will need to think long and hard about it.  Its hard for me to say no but that might be what I need to start doing.


Liz Rogers said...

I'm sorry you are feeling this way. When I was commuting an hour each way in grad school we asked an aunt and uncle who lived in the same town whether I could spend some time at their house. I couldn't believe it when they told me "no". It really does take a village to raise children, yet that village seems more and more difficult to find. Have you reached out to your local multiple moms group? You are doing an amazing job!!

Garlic Bread said...

Well, those who proved to you to be human, you be human to them, too. I cannot believe your neighbour acted the way she did! So rude and cold!
Humanity seems to be less and less. I follow on fb several groups regarding children protection and you wouldn't believe how people are insensitive toward the kids and problematic families they come from even when they are able to help. The excuse is just :there are too many of such".so what! Should we close eyes in front of people who need our help?! More and more people disgust me!