Thursday, March 22, 2012

Here We Go Again............ =D

Brian and I went back to the fertility clinic just over a month ago to talk about baby #3.   It was pretty surreal calling up the clinic, making an appointment, and driving the path that I had driven many many times.  I had made a billion appointments but for some reason this one just felt different.  I felt like I was a phoney infertile since I already had kids.  I felt like I shouldn't be calling that doctor again.

We met with Dr. S. to see what our next steps needed to be.  I already knew that I would have to stop breast feeding the twins but since I didn't have a good supply to start with, I wasn't completely heart broken.  The last day I pumped was March 9th.  He said to give it 2 weeks and then schedule an appointment for blood work and if everything looked good I would get Provera to start AF up again.  I actually haven't had a period since January of 2011!!  I called the fertility clinic and found out that all of the blood work workup that they wanted to do was going to cost me about $700 out of pocket!  Once you start treatments at the fertility clinic, insurance won't cover anything diagnostic.  So instead of spending a fortune on stupid BW, I called my OBGYNs office and asked if I could get it done there.  A $50 copay seemed way more affordable so I made an appointment for next Tuesday to get that taken care of. 

We have 7 high quality frosties waiting for us, and I am really hoping that at least one of them will stick and turn into baby #3.  It does scare the crap out of me to have twins again but I love them to death and would totally do it again.  I had a textbook pregnancy and feel like my body failed me fertility wise so it made up for it during the pregnancy.... birth.... recovery... etc.  The good and the bad always seem to equal themselves out somehow.

After I get the results from the blood work I will go on the BCPs until we are ready for the transfer.  I have to do a trial embryo transfer and the saline sonogram again just to make sure my uterus is in good condition.  Assuming everything is okay, there will be minimal appointments and a few shots, pills, patches, etc. to do before we can transfer again in July. 

Why so soon you might ask?  I have a couple of reasons.... My number one answer being... it just feels right!

 It took us quite a while to get pregnant with the girls and don't want to wait until its too late to try for more kids.  I am only 29 now but what if we wait until I am 31, use all our embryos and then am 34 with maybe not so good eggs anymore. 

I am optimistic that these embryos will turn into baby (ies) and hopeful that the FET will work but I also have to be realistic about it.

I also used all of my sick leave last school year (17 days) and only have about 1.5 days of sick leave left for this year.  Its much easier to do treatments in the summer vs. the school year.  If this transfer doesn't work out, we will probably have to wait until the following summer to try again. (If we can save enough for another transfer that is.)

It feels like I have been writing this post in my head every night for the last month.  I just wasn't sure the right way to go about sharing all of this information.  I am so grateful for my girls and all the joy they have brought to my life!  But, I also know that we have 7 frozen embryos that deserve a chance at life.  Everyone has their own opinion on what to do with frozen babies and my only option, personally, is to try to turn them into babies.  If I end up with 9 kids then well, that's what I will have!  I seriously doubt that will happen though.... and will be very lucky if I end up with one more. 

I am glad to finally get this out into the open.  Ten O'clock on a school night is probably not the best time to be writing but I couldn't sleep anyways.  Spring break starts in exactly 17 hours and 19 minutes but who's counting anyways?

I have to say that I am scared to be going down this road of fertility treatments again.  But, I hope it will be easier this time around knowing that if it doesn't work, I will still have my two beautiful girls.


Amanda said...

How incredibly exciting! I can't wait to follow along on your journey and share in your happiness all over again!!! ((hugs))

Matt and Krista said...

Oh my goodness! I am a bit shocked but so excited for you guys! Matt is against transferring the rest of our frosties......I hope he changes his mind! You are so brave and strong for trying again....I want to but am also terrified at the same time! How exciting.....I love Dr.S.....he did my retrieval of 50 eggs!!!

Jessica Anne said...

It was a hard decision to make to get back into the fertility treatments. There are so many emotions that come with it! (good and bad) But, ultimately, we can't give up on the embryos that we have already created so we decided that they need a shot at life!