Tuesday, July 8, 2014

Parenting and Social Media

As a stay at home mom, it seems like social media is my only tunnel into the outside world.  I spend most of my days at home with the kids with little or no actual adult interaction (aside from Brian.)  Sure, we do go on play dates to the park, have people over occasionally, and visit other people's houses but those things don't happen every day.  For the post part from 8:00 am-8:00pm I am on mom duty.

I will admit that I probably use my phone to check my FB, post pictures to IG, etc too much, but I feel like its the only way I can connect with others.  Its an escape for me to read up on what other people are doing, and see the comments on my latest "cereal all over the floor" picture.

Lately, though, instead of finding it a source of entertainment and a way to connect with others, I am finding it more and more of something that makes me feel like a shitty parent.  Some people post about....

  • immaculate houses
  • kids doing Pinterest projects every day
  • how they only eat organic food because the other stuff has carcinogens in it
  •  that they take their kids to the science museum, little gym, dance class, soccer class, gymnastics class or whatever every day or week
  • the fact that their kids never do anything wrong, or act out in public, and are just perfect angels
I'm sure I could go on and on. And on. And on. And on! about the fake things mommies put out there as their persona.  Now, yes, I get that there's a difference between being a Debbie Downer and keeping it real, and I try to keep it real.  I absolutely cannot stand those moms that I KNOW are only posting the "best of the best."  I like to post cute things my kids say too, but that's not all I do.  I actually, sometimes feel bad for those people that feel like they have some status to live up to.  It must be hard work trying to be perfect in every aspect of your life.  

I know that I'm starting to ramble here, but my point is that parenting has been hard since the beginning of time, and it seems that its  especially hard when social media plays such a role in it.  I'm a pretty confident person when it comes to my parenting decisions, and I'm realizing that stupid social media is making me re-think everything and is really taking that confidence away.  No one seems to understand what its like to parent not one, but two sets of twins.  Everyone thinks they can imagine what its like, but they just can't.  Until you've lived a day in my chaotic world, you have no idea what its like. Seriously!  Everyone has an opinion about everything and I think I'm just tired of letting those opinions influence the way I do things.  

Its one thing for people to be genuine, and offer support and guidance through comments and messages but I don't feel like that's what's happening.  I find that even other moms with twins aren't supportive and helpful in most situations.  We've just gotten so far away from face to face interactions that people feel that they can say whatever they want behind a computer because there's no consequences.  I'm here to tell you that there are.  The consequence last night was me, bawling my eyes out, in my kitchen trying to feed my kids dinner and put them to bed.  

My point through all of this is that parenting is no easy task.  People may put on a show for their FB friends, but I guarantee there's more to them than that.  Their kid probably spilled the dog food, threw spaghetti at the wall, made a huge mess, peed on the floor, or whatever.  They just don't post about it because they don't want to look bad.  Well guess what? It doesn't make you look bad to post those things.  It makes you look like a real person.  I wish more people would show that side of them.


Amanda said...

I'm sorry that your evening ended in tears!!! =( I shut down my FB account days after my babies were born. I was still in the hospital, both preemies in the NICU. I could NOT take one more person complaining about the stupidest shit when my son was fighting to breathe, to stay alive. I was done, and haven't looked back. I agree that a lot of Instagrammers (and I guess bloggers, too) are just too fake. I read some saying somewhere about "don't compare your every day to someone else's highlight reel" or something along those lines. Hang in there, girl, you're doing a great job.

Dawn Running said...

I'm sorry people are making you feel this way! Grab that confidence back...you are a great Mommy...and you know what...I'm a daycare provider and when I had kids old enough to do projects, I still didn't do it every day. Sometimes I just didn't feel like bringing all that mess upon myself, sometimes we had other things we wanted to do and sometimes, the kids just weren't in the mood for it. Keep being the great Mom you are and don't let anyone tell you otherwise!!!

pilar said...

Querida Jessica, te leo en la distancia y me siento totalmente identificada con lo que cuentas. Yo (madre soltera por eleccion) tengo una hija nacida en enero de 2OO9 y una pareja de mellizos nacidos en abril de 2O1O. No se si mienten o si es que soy muy vaga, o es que tienen algun misterioso secreto que desconozco. Espero que no hayas olvidado el espanol.... un abrazo.