The grass isn't always greener....

At some point in the last few weeks I had one of those ah-ha moments with regards to breastfeeding.  We all compare ourselves to other people, and I was constantly comparing my breastfeeding experiences with every Jane and Sally that I knew.  Well you know what?  Sometimes their experiences aren't all that great, and I finally realized that I was okay with and happy with where things are.

There were a few of my friends that I was comparing myself to and I guess this is what I think about it now.

• The friend I posted about not wanting to go see is 4 weeks in and pretty much exclusively breastfeeding!  I'm so proud of her!  But, guess what?  Her baby has pretty much ripped off both of her nipples because he has some type of bad latch.  She told me the other day that he had black stool all day one day so her doc had her get him checked out.  Black stool means there's blood in there... and guess where the blood came from? Her nipples.  Ouch.  She said she dreads every single feeding.  She has just now started to pump a couple times per day so that her husband can help her with feedings and to get her little one used to bottles.  She has to go back to work in about a month will hopefully be able to continue pumping.  She also says that her breasts leak all day long.... soaking through the disposable pads and she has no idea how to stop that!  
• I met up with a twin mom at our local MOMs regional meeting.  At the time she was 8 weeks into exclusive breastfeeding.  I was in such awe of her!! She had so much milk and was doing so well (or so I thought.)  She was completely sleep deprived from all of the feedings that her husband couldn't help with and just so overwhelmed with the whole thing.  Her plan was to breastfeed for a "really long time" she said, but ended up exclusively pumping for a while and switching to formula all together at 3 1/2 months.
• A couple of MOMs I know that have twins the same age as the girls are still breastfeeding, sometimes 3-4x during the night!  I just can't imagine getting up that many times for two years.

As of now (7 months) we finally have this thing down.  I breastfeed Elliott when I can.  Sometimes its after a bottle just to "top him off" and help him sleep, and I am completely fine with that.  I love just sitting, nursing him, and watching him fall asleep in my arms.  I still wish that Oliver wanted to nurse too, but he doesn't and that's perfectly fine.  I pump 5x/day and make somewhere between 35-40 oz every day.  Some sessions are better than others because I have more time to sit and pump for 45 minutes while the kids are napping or down for the night.  Most sessions, I only have 15-20 minutes to quickly pump while the kids are content and playing.  One o the benefits to pumping is that Brian (or anyone) can help me feed the boys.  While I try not to be away from my pump for 3-4 hours at a time, its nice if I can sneak out to the store, take the girls somewhere, or go out with a girlfriend for a while without having to rush home and feed a baby.  

I can't remember if I've talked about my "plan" but here it is.  I am really wanting to pump until the boys are 12 months or whenever they switch to whole milk.  After that, I will slowly stop pumping and cut out the dom.peridone that's helping me with my supply.  I will continue to breastfeed Elliott until the time is right to stop!