Conflicted

I am conflicted on the whole breastfeeding thing.  At first I was all gung ho and thought I could successfully breastfeed both girls but when Evy wouldn't latch that whole idea went out the window.  Then, I thought I could just BF Charlotte and pump for Evy..... and I did do that for a while.  I'm not sure how it exactly happened but I pretty much stopped BFing Char and just pumped for both girls (which worked okay since I could split what I did have evenly between them.)  I knew I would have to go back to work when they were three months so I guess I did know that I wouldn't be able to BF them for that long. 

When I went back to work I continued to pump while at work and I ended up pumping at 5:30am, 11:30am, 4:00pm and 8:00ish.  At first I was getting the same amount of milk that I had before I went back to work (approx. 24 oz in 24 hrs.) but slowly it has been going downhill.  Instead of making 10-12oz in the morning I am only making 6-7oz.   Instead of making 10oz between the two sessions at work I am getting maybe 6oz.  At night I get maybe another 4oz to equal a whopping 16oz/day if that.  They are drinking 6oz each feeding so they don't even get two full bottles of breastmilk each day. 

I really do want them to drink the BM for many reasons but I'm not sure that one bottle per day really makes it worth it.  Instead of getting up in the morning and taking care of the girls I wake up, pump, and then wake Brian up so that he can take care of them and I can get ready for work.  You may ask, "Well why don't you nurse in the morning instead of pumping?"  Well the answer is that neither of them really will nurse anymore.  Like I said before, Evy never did really nurse and now Charlotte doesn't really want to either.  Also, even if I did nurse them in the morning I would still have to pump and probably give them a bottle to supplement as well.  AND I would have to get up even earlier since that all takes time. 

I guess right now I have a couple of choices. 
1.) I can keep pumping and wait for the milk to dry up (which may be sooner rather than later)
2.) Call my OBGYN and see if I can get back on the Reglan to up my supply (the pills make me feel super super tired and very anxious)

I will probably have to stop BFing by April anyways which doesn't make the current decision any easier.  The reasoning for that will have to be in another post.... I am not ready to talk about it yet. =)

On a happy note, the girls will be 4 months old on Monday!!  They go for their 4 month checkup on Feb. 17th. 

No Formula Today!

I am happy to say that neither of the girls have eaten one drop of formula today!!!  Last night Evy slept from 10pm-7am!  Charlotte slept from 10pm-4am and then 4am-7:30ish.  They are finally starting to sleep through the night and it feels amazing to get a solid 6 hours of sleep at night if I go to bed when they do.  I got up today at 7ish, fed Evy, pumped and then fed Charlotte.  I woke up before they even did because one of my boobs was leaking.  Many would find this annoying but I find it to be a good sign that I have lots of milk!  I pumped 11oz after sleeping! YAY! That was the most I've had so far in one session.  They are currently drinking 4-5oz so that made 2 full bottles plus a little extra.  I was pumped (haha) to say the least.  Its now 7:30pm and we just fed them again a few minutes ago and I have 2 oz of breastmilk left in the refrigerator for later.  Obviously 2oz is not going to be enough to feed them when they eat in a couple hours so we will have to give them formula.  BUT, they sleep way longer when they have formula so I am okay with them having it at night.  I feel really good that I was able to provide enough boob juice for them all day today! Hooray!  Lets see how tomorrow goes.

I have been taking note on which diapers are the best and if it is really worth buying the name brand diapers instead of the cheaper store brand ones.  The answer is YES.  The cheap diapers really are cheap and I think I will end up spending more on new clothes and Oxy Clean when they leak all out of their diaper.  This is the ranking that I have come up with so far for diapers and wipes:

Diapers:
1. Pampers
2. Huggies (close second)
3. Luvs
4. Babies R Us brand
5. Target Brand
I still have a package of the Walmart brand that I haven't used yet so I will keep you posted

Wipes:
1. Huggies (They smell REALLY good!)
2. Pampers
3. Walmart Brand (Parent's Choice I think they are called)
4. Target brand (These are soooo thin and dry out really fast if you forget to close the lid to the dispenser.  They also don't dispense properly from the pampers dispenser that I have and therefore I waste a lot)

Moral of the story: Don't waste money on the cheap stuff! I plan to continue to use coupons which makes things slightly more reasonable.  We go through about 20 diapers per day so I have to watch the price on the diapers!

Yesterday I bought the girls Bumbo seats from another MOM (Mother of Multiples).  They retail for $40 each and I got them for $10 each!  The lady I got them from bought them from another MOM and I plan to sell them to another MOM when I am done with them!  Its really great to buy things used when you can.  I can't believe how big the girls are getting already!  My mom asked, "Where did my little burritos go that I left in October?"  We called them burritos when they were all wrapped up in their swaddles.  She lives in Minnesota and only gets to see them via pictures or Skype and I must say they are growing like weeds!  They can both hold their heads up pretty well and are on their way to rolling over.  When I put them on their tummies they do a lot of kicking and grunting so it seems they are moving in the right direction. 

Ok, now for a few photos from the last week or so!

I went to take Charlotte out of the car and found her with her hat in her hand!

Evy and her cute smushy face

Charlotte- We went out to dinner and I thought I should put her snowsuit on since it was cold outside.  But, it was way to poofy to fit in her carseat with it actually buckled.

Charlotte (left) and Evy (right)- I call this "Virtual Babysitting"  I was skyping with my mom yesterday and set the babies down so she could see them without me holding them.  I then told her that I was going to go to the movies and asked if she could babysit.  LOL.  I wish it worked that way,

Evy (left) and Charlotte (right) with me in the middle.  I am in my pajamas without any makeup on but who cares.  I just want to make sure that I have pictures with the girls when they are little.  I want them to see that yes, I was young once.  =)

Evy (left) and Charlotte (right) in their Bumbo seats

Evy (left) and Charlotte (right) playing footsie in their Bumbo seats