As most of my close friends and family know, I am not the most patient of people. Lately I feel like I live my life waiting for my next "cycle" to start so that I can do yet another infertility treatment. Back when I started my IUIs (intrauterine inseminations) I was so naive about the whole thing and figured I would be preggo within a month or two. Unfortunately I am now much wiser and more concerned and impatient with each new cycle.
I haven't had my period since the D&C on November 2nd. Its not like I really WANT to have a period, but thats the price you have to pay to get started again. The doc put me on Provera (progesterone) once per day for 10 days to get AF (aunt flo) to come for a visit. So I finished the pills and was waiting and BAM, the back pain, cramps, and general feeling of ickyness came in full force- or so I thought.
I called the nurse line to tell them that AF had arrived. Then, the nurse proceeds to ask me questions about it..... (Talk about embarassing!) and she determined that I wasn't having "full flow" yet so I should call back on Monday and give her a "flow report." We determined that we would wait a couple more days and see what was happening before starting the BCPs (birth control pills.) It does seem nuts that someone trying to have a baby is put on BCPs, but it is their way to control the cycle before starting treatment again.
I talked to the nurse today and she called just to see, "if I was bleeding or not." LOL After our conversation she had to talk to the doc and see when for sure I should start the BCPs. It all seems so complicated!
Anyways, I guess I am just excited to get started again. I never in my wildest dreams thought that in the course of one year I would have two full IVF (in vitro fertilization) cycles, two FETs (frozen embryo transfers) one chemical pregnancy, and a miscarriage. When I type those things they seem like stuff that only happens to people in sob story movies from the Lifetime channel or things you watch on Oprah. I never imagined that would be my story and something that would consume my life.
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Sunday, December 12, 2010
My doctor has a heart!
When Brian and I met with Dr. S. a while back to discuss what was next, he said that he would look at how much we had spent at his clinic and come up with some type of discount for our next cycle. Last Monday, I called the lady in charge of the financial stuff and asked her what the discount would be. She had no idea so she e-mailed Dr. S. and said she would get back to me on Tuesday.
I anxiously awaited her phone call on Tuesday. Finally, late in the afternoon the call came in. She told me that Dr. S. had reviewed our files and the amount we had paid and decided to do our repeat IVF for................. drum roll please.............. $3,000!!!! Oh my gosh! I almost fell out of my chair at work when she told me this!! She said, "I knew you would be happy!!" That was an understatement if I had ever heard one. She also said, "Well you know you will still have to pay for meds, and the anesthesiologist fee, but $3,000 is what Dr. S. is going to charge for his fees."
As soon as we got off the phone, I ran into the office and called Brian. He was just about as shocked as I was to hear the news. Now, we will still have to pay $2000-$3000 for medications and $400 for the anesthesiologist, but that is not much compared to what the original total would have been (about $16000.)
We had thought about switching clinics for this round of IVF, but after meeting with the doctor, decided against it. His generosity really shows me that he is a doctor that cares about people, and their desire to become parents. He told us before that he had to be aware of what he was doing to us emotionally, physically, and financially, and this shows that he meant it.
The holidays are a time to give to others and show people that humankind is good and not just about themselves. The holidays are about giving what you can to those in need and paying forward what you have been so lucky to receive.
I anxiously awaited her phone call on Tuesday. Finally, late in the afternoon the call came in. She told me that Dr. S. had reviewed our files and the amount we had paid and decided to do our repeat IVF for................. drum roll please.............. $3,000!!!! Oh my gosh! I almost fell out of my chair at work when she told me this!! She said, "I knew you would be happy!!" That was an understatement if I had ever heard one. She also said, "Well you know you will still have to pay for meds, and the anesthesiologist fee, but $3,000 is what Dr. S. is going to charge for his fees."
As soon as we got off the phone, I ran into the office and called Brian. He was just about as shocked as I was to hear the news. Now, we will still have to pay $2000-$3000 for medications and $400 for the anesthesiologist, but that is not much compared to what the original total would have been (about $16000.)
We had thought about switching clinics for this round of IVF, but after meeting with the doctor, decided against it. His generosity really shows me that he is a doctor that cares about people, and their desire to become parents. He told us before that he had to be aware of what he was doing to us emotionally, physically, and financially, and this shows that he meant it.
The holidays are a time to give to others and show people that humankind is good and not just about themselves. The holidays are about giving what you can to those in need and paying forward what you have been so lucky to receive.
Saturday, December 4, 2010
Constant Reminders
As I said in my previous post today, I am over a month out from my d&c. I mostly have my feelings in check, but sometimes there are reminders out there that bring back those happy thoughts of what "could have been" and the reality of what is not.
Today I went in for an ultrasound to check my lining and my antral follicles. The ultrasound machine says your name, date, etc. When I went in for the u/s on the day before my miscarriage it said 7w1d meaning that was how far along I was. Today when I went in the machine said 11w6d. I could have cried right there and then. It took all of my strength not to cry in front of this ultrasound tech whom which I had never met before. The 11w6d was staring me in the face as if to say "HA" this is where you COULD have been today had the pregnancy continued. I would have been one day away from hitting that milestone of the end of the 1st trimester. Instead, I am back at square one. I feel like I am no closer to the ultimate goal of motherhood than I was 1 1/2 years and $35,000 ago.
Today I went in for an ultrasound to check my lining and my antral follicles. The ultrasound machine says your name, date, etc. When I went in for the u/s on the day before my miscarriage it said 7w1d meaning that was how far along I was. Today when I went in the machine said 11w6d. I could have cried right there and then. It took all of my strength not to cry in front of this ultrasound tech whom which I had never met before. The 11w6d was staring me in the face as if to say "HA" this is where you COULD have been today had the pregnancy continued. I would have been one day away from hitting that milestone of the end of the 1st trimester. Instead, I am back at square one. I feel like I am no closer to the ultimate goal of motherhood than I was 1 1/2 years and $35,000 ago.
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