Support

Support from friends and family was crucial in my journey to parenthood.  I connected with other infertiles via forums, blogs, and in person.  Without this emotional support, I know things would have been much more difficult.  When struggling to conceive, it seems like you are the only one out there with these problems, and while I don't wish others would have problems, it was also nice to see that I wasn't alone.

After becoming a mom, I felt like the forums weren't as beneficial anymore because I wasn't in the trenches anymore and people don't always want to "hear" your miracle story and how if you just try "one more time" things may work out for them.  Your perspective changes because you are no longer wondering if you will ever be a mom some day and have just an overall different perspective.

What I'm trying to say is that, while infertility is behind me (sort of) its still something that will always be with me, and I even have a hard time relating to some moms that haven't struggled.  When people just decide they want a baby, go off birth control, and conceive right away, I just can't even begin to comprehend that.  They talk about timing and wanting a "summer baby" or the perfect spacing between their children.  What I think about if/when we decide to try for another is fertility doctors, appointments, shots, a million transvaginal ultrasounds, heartbreak, loss, tears, and a heck of a lot of money.  Also, no guarantee that it will even work and all of that time and money could be for nothing.  Most people just don't "get" that.

I started a group on FB to connect with others that face the same issues when parenting after infertility issues.  Some had success with treatments, some adopted, and others used surrogacy to carry their miracle babies to term.  If you feel like you are in the same boat, I would love to add you to the group! You can leave a comment with your e-mail and I will give you a link to the group or you can search Pregnant/Parenting after Infertility.

As a side note, my boys are 9 months old today!!