The end... or a strike

Elliott got a couple of teeth a couple of weeks ago! (yay!) And, perhaps its a coincidence, but he has not wanted to nurse for the past week or so.  I only nurse him about 2x/day (sometimes only at night) and he has been refusing.    He went two days or so without nursing at night, and then he nursed again so I thought it was just a strike for a couple days.... well after those couple days, it has been a few more and he does not seem interested anymore.  I guess I just didn't realize it might be so abrupt and that he would just refuse to nurse and hold out for his bottle.  I have tried everything I can think of.... not giving the bottle (sometimes for 30 minutes), giving him a bath to help him relax, expressing some milk on his lips, rocking him so he's sleepy, nursing him when he wakes up in the middle of the night and is sleepy... he's just not having any of it. 

I e-mailed my lactation consultant yesterday to see what she said.  She told me that sometimes this happens when they get teeth and that I should just not offer for a couple days and see if he forgets about his pattern of refusal. She said may times moms just consider this a sign of them wanting to wean, but that they will often go back to the breast in a few days.

 The only thing that's kept me pumping this long is the fact that I also was breastfeeding at the same time.  I really don't like being tied down to a pump 5-6x/day for 20-30 minutes each time.  I would rather be blogging, taking a shower, napping, eating or whatever else I need to do.  Its an understatement to say that I've cried a lot over this during the last week or so.  Its just so upsetting to me, and I hate that I'm being such a big cry baby over it all.  I just wish I could get over it, but I can't.  I was finally "okay" with mostly pumping with a breastfeeding session thrown in here and there, but with none... I'm just feeling sad.  It is what it is and I'm going to have to get over it, but I really want to make it to my goal of pumping for a year.  I have to admit, this is not helping me stay motivated.  If there are any words of wisdom out there, I'd love to hear them.  I feel like I'm at an all time low and just overwhelmed in general with everything going on. 

I really need to write an update about Oliver and all that we've been dealing with lately but I just haven't found the time.  I'm so tired, haven't slept in weeks and its really just getting to me.  I feel like I have 1% brain power and can't even recharge to feel like a human.