I told her a little about me and after doing so she stopped to clarify and said, "So just to make sure I understood you correctly, you have two year old twins AND nine month old twins?" I said, "Yep, you got it right." She said later in the conversation that her husband was listening to her repeat that back and gave her a look like... Wow, seriously?!?
I explained my situation and she sounded very hopeful. I'm really not optimistic at this point but never say never, right? She was very positive and upbeat during the whole conversation where I can't say that I was the same. I don't generally find myself crying on the phone with random strangers but the tears just would not stop when I was actually talking about how upset I was that I couldn't breastfeed my babies. I mean I "talk" about it here but there's just something so different, and almost embarrassing about having to say it out loud. She said some things that really made sense about needing to get out more and go to some mommy groups and maybe even a LLL meeting. I shared my hesitation to go to a group where there would be other moms able to breastfeed their little ones. She said there would be lots of people there with breastfeeding problems because that's why people show up to those things and how good it would be to share my journey with others and listen to what other women have been through as well.
The most enlightening part of the conversation was what she said were the top three priorities.
1.) Feed the babies
2.) Feed the babies mama's milk
3.) Make feeding the babies easier on mama (breastfeeding)
That list of priorities sounds so simple, yet she was so right. I'm feeding my babies (obviously... since they are HUGE) and they are getting mostly mama's milk. She really made me feel like I was doing a good job and made me feel good about my decision to continue to pump. She said that most women would have thrown in the towel by now after facing this much difficulty.
She referred me to an IBCLC (International Board Certified Lactation Consultant) that she highly recommended and I don't want to say I haven't tried everything, so I'm going to go see her on Monday. She may not have any miracle solutions to get Elliott (and even Oliver) to nurse again but who knows, maybe she will. I don't want to have regrets because it cost too much money to go see the lactation consultant so I'm just going to bite the bullet and do it.